What is a Dark Night of the Soul?

Do you suddenly feel lost? Is nothing you used to care about important to you anymore? Are you questioning the meaning of life? You could be going through a “dark night of the soul.”

So what is a dark night of the soul anyway?

The dark night of the soul refers to a period of intense personal transformation, during which people start to question what they believe about themselves and the world around them. This time of spiritual growth is often accompanied by feelings of despair, confusion, and uncertainty.

I experienced my first dark night of the soul about five years into my spiritual journey, a couple of months after a health scare. All of a sudden, nothing in my life had any meaning anymore and it sent me into a dark place. What was going on? Why was I feeling so disconnected from my life?

I hadn’t experienced severe depression or anxiety in years so it didn’t make sense to me why – out of nowhere – I was feeling so lost and on edge. I started searching for answers, and eventually (several months later) found some information on the dark night of the soul. Finally, everything started to make sense.

It was a difficult period to go through, but it changed me in profound ways. I came out of it feeling more joy and peace than I ever had before.

When I went through this experience, there wasn’t a lot of information out there. So I hope this post will help clarify some questions you might have. I’ll talk more about what a dark night of the soul is exactly and why we experience it.

What Is a Dark Night of the Soul

The dark night of the soul is a period of personal growth when a person goes through intense spiritual transformation. It’s a collapse of your perceived meaning in life, or a breaking away from the illusions of the ego. The process of letting go of your ego, also described as ego death, can cause a deep sense of unease, feeling lost, and feeling disconnected from everything.

The concept of the dark night was originally described by the 16th-century Spanish mystic St. John of the Cross, who used the term to describe a stage in the spiritual journey where the individual experiences a sense of spiritual emptiness and a feeling of being cut off from God.

The dark night of the soul can resemble what we would call depression, but it’s a little different. The dark night is a form of grieving, except the death in this case is the mind-made concept of yourself. The intense discomfort, confusion, and sadness are caused by the fact that you are letting go of the only identity you’ve known for years – or maybe your whole life.

The dark night of the soul is deeply transformational, taking you from one phase of life into another. Believe me, it can be very scary to go through. Your life, which seemed so solid, is beginning to fall apart. You don’t know who you’re becoming or if you’ll ever be the same again.

➡ Related Post: What Does It Really Mean to Let Go of Your Ego?

What Triggers a Dark Night of the Soul

Typically a dark night of the soul is triggered by a major life transition, such as a job loss, a divorce, a death in the family, or a serious illness. Or maybe you finally achieved something you thought would change your life, only to find out that it didn’t bring you the happiness you were hoping for.

So why do these types of events bring on a dark night of the soul? Big life changes challenge your perception of reality. Often they completely invalidate the meaning you had given to things in your life, and what you considered important before. They force you to confront difficult questions about who you are, what you value, and what you want out of life.

What Is the Purpose of a Dark Night of the Soul

While the dark night of the soul can be a very painful and difficult experience, there is a purpose for it. In Eckhart Tolle’s words, it’s a kind of re-birth. You’re letting go of who you thought you were (ego-based), and becoming a more expanded, authentic version of yourself (soul-based).

The dark night is very much like a caterpillar in its cocoon phase: it’s uncomfortable but soon you will emerge as a butterfly. This process is an essential step on your spiritual journey, often leading to a spiritual awakening.

The ego doesn’t go down without a fight though, and it can be a struggle to let go of an identity that you’ve had for so long. This transition can make you feel anxious, disoriented, and disconnected.

But once you surrender and let go of all your old beliefs and patterns you start to wake up to a greater meaning of life. And you’ll come out of the dark night with a new sense of purpose and direction in your life.

➡ Related Post: Beginner’s Guide to Spiritual Awakening: Signs, Stages, and Tips

How Long Does the Dark Night of the Soul Typically Last?

There is no set timeline for the dark night of the soul and everyone's journey is unique. Some people may only experience a few days or weeks of intense struggle, while others may endure the dark night for months or even years. But on average, the dark night lasts for several months.

It’s also important to know that the dark night of the soul is not a one-time event, but rather a process that can happen multiple times throughout your life. Each time it occurs, it may take on a different form and present new challenges to overcome.

My first dark night of the soul lasted for about 2-3 months. Since that initial experience, I went through many more dark nights over a period of about 3 years. But those tended to be much shorter, more like days or weeks. And by that point I was able to recognize what was happening, making them a lot easier to deal with.

Ultimately, the dark night of the soul lasts as long as it takes for you to let go of your old identity and embrace a new reality. The more you surrender to this process, the faster it tends to go. That being said, it can be really helpful to get guidance and support from a therapist or a life coach on this journey.

9 Signs You're Going Through a Dark Night of the Soul

Everyone experiences a dark night differently, but these are 9 common signs when going through a dark night of the soul:

You feel lost and disoriented in life, with no sense of direction
Nothing you used to care about is important to you anymore
You feel a lot of sudden anxiety and fear
You’re questioning the meaning of life
You feel a deep sense of sadness and grief
You’re experiencing unusual physical symptoms of stress (such as headaches, nausea, and body aches)
You feel a sense of detachment from everything in your life
You’re having irregular sleeping patterns (sleeping too much or too little)
You feel like you’re unable to relate to family and friends and spend more time in isolation

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Final Thoughts

The dark night of the soul is a period of intense spiritual transformation, often triggered by a major life change. This process can be very uncomfortable: you are letting go of your old ego-based identity and waking up to a new version of yourself.

Some people may experience a brief period of intense struggle, while others may endure a prolonged and difficult journey. But going through the dark night of the soul leaves you with profound insight and wisdom, and a renewed sense of purpose in life.

Have you ever experienced a dark night of the soul? Let me know in the comments below.

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