Living in Your Head: What It Means and How to Be Present
If you find yourself endlessly replaying what your friend said to you the other day or constantly worrying about how you're going to meet the next deadline at work, then you might be living in your head too much.
Don’t worry. You’re not alone. I’ve spent most of my life living in my head and looking back, I can definitely say it contributed to a lot of my unhappiness.
I wish I had known sooner there was another way to live. Through therapy and life coaching, I finally realized how much I was overthinking and overanalyzing everything. Yikes.
Once I started learning how to get out of my head, life became so much easier.
Living in your head generally means you are overthinking or overanalyzing situations or behaviors in your life. You may be stuck in a loop of negative thoughts, ruminating about events in the past, or worrying about what can go wrong in the future. This incessant preoccupation with our thoughts takes us out of the present moment and can lead to unhappiness.
If any of this sounds familiar, keep reading. In this post, I’ll explain more about what it means to live in your head, why you should get into your body, and how to become more present.
What It Means to Live In Your Head
When you’re living in your head, you’re constantly preoccupied with your thoughts. You may be reliving bad memories, replaying what people said to you, or worrying about the future. When you're always focusing on your negative thoughts, you’re not open to new possibilities or things that could actually change your life for the better.
Often overthinking is a response to trauma or anxiety in an attempt to control the things in our life. In an effort to protect ourselves, our mind tries to predict outcomes to every hypothetical situation that could happen. But ironically, we end up causing more stress in our lives.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to plan ahead. But when you are doing more thinking and analyzing than actual living, it might be time to get out of your head.
Always living in your head can also be a coping strategy to avoid unpleasant emotions. Feeling all the feels is great when your crush just asked you out, but maybe not so much when you’ve just lost your job.
Being in your head is a great way to think your way through a tough situation, rather than experiencing the uncomfortable emotions you don’t want to feel. The rational mind is useful when trying to figure out logical things, but it’s not very helpful with feelings.
But guess what, not processing your emotions will backfire on you one day. Emotional meltdown anyone?
Here are 8 signs you may be spending too much time in your head:
You’re endlessly replaying things that happened in the past.
You’re always worrying about what can go wrong.
You’re mostly focusing on your negative thoughts.
You’re trying to control, get rid of, or avoid unpleasant emotions.
You’re not paying attention to your surroundings or the sensations in your body.
You’re excessively planning and trying to figure things out in your head.
You’re always worried about what other people think of you.
You’re not feeling grounded and present.
Why You Should Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body
While it’s normal to daydream and spend time contemplating your life (Hi there fellow introverts!), when you’re consumed with your thoughts too much it can lead to unhappiness.
According to a Harvard study done by psychologists Matthew A. Killingsworth and Daniel T. Gilbert, “people spend 46.9 percent of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re doing, and this mind-wandering typically makes them unhappy.”
When you’re experiencing the world through just your thoughts — and not your senses — you’re missing out on what the present moment has to offer.
And seeing your life through a narrow lens of bad memories, negative thoughts, and fears about what can go wrong, will shape how you live your life (usually not in a good way).
“People spend 46.9 percent of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re doing, and this mind-wandering typically makes them unhappy.”
When you get out of your head it means you are being fully present and aware of your surroundings and the sensations in your body. This helps you respond to things that are happening in the moment that you otherwise might have been oblivious to — for example, connecting better with the people in your life because you’re actually listening to them, or being more in tune with your feelings and intuition (which will ultimately help you make better decisions in life).
How to Stop Living in Your Head And Be More Present
If you think that you might be living in your head too much, here are six ways to become more present:
1 — Do a meditation
Meditation is one of the best ways to get out of your head and be more present.
But for someone with an overactive mind, it can be hard to meditate at first. Start meditating for just 5 or 10 minutes a day, and build up from there.
I’ve found the best times to meditate are generally right after waking up or before going to bed. But see what works best for you. Calm or Headspace are my favorite apps for guided meditation.
2 — Become aware of your thoughts
Check in with yourself throughout the day and observe what you are thinking. Are you repeating negative thoughts? Are you replaying over and over what your boss said to you yesterday?
If it’s hard for you to remember to check in with yourself, combine it with routines you are already doing on a daily basis — such as brushing your teeth or walking your dog.
3 — Focus on your breathing
Doing a breathing exercise can really help you reset your stress response and slow down your thoughts.
There are many different types of breathwork you can do, but one of my favorites is a form of yogic deep breathing called box breathing.
Here’s how to do it:
Gently breathe in for four counts
Hold your breath for a count of four
Slowly breathe out for another four counts
Hold for four counts before you start breathing in again
Repeat the four steps for at least a couple of minutes, or until you start to feel calmer. If you are going through a very stressful time, you may want to do this multiple times a day. Bonus points for doing box breathing outside!
4 — Get some exercise
Many of us don’t get enough exercise so sometimes just getting your body moving is all it takes to get out of your head.
Go out for a walk, do a quick run, or hit the yoga mat to stop your endless thoughts.
If you don’t have time to do any of those activities, do some light stretching for a few minutes in-between tasks. Focus on your breath and how you feel in your body. This will help you feel more grounded.
5 — Journal
Getting your thoughts down on paper helps you become aware of what you are thinking.
Journaling also helps you let go of unwanted thoughts. One of my favorite way to journal for this purpose is automatic writing.
Just write down whatever you are thinking even if it makes no sense. The point is to get your thoughts out of your head.
It can be helpful to reread what you’ve written and challenge some of your thoughts. Are your negative thoughts really true?
6 — Practice Mindfulness
How aware are you of the world around you? When you’re fixated on your thoughts, you’re often not paying attention to your five senses.
Here are some ideas on how to practice Mindfulness:
Pay attention to what you see around you.
Smell the air.
Observe sounds you can hear.
Focus on sensations in the body.
Notice any emotions you are feeling.
I like to use walks for becoming more mindful. I focus on breathing in the fresh air, observing the leaves and their colors, or listening to the birds.
But you can also use daily routines like eating a meal, taking a shower, or doing the dishes to become more aware of your senses. When you pay attention to each sensation it will quickly take you out of your mind and into your body.
Sidenote, make sure to not judge any of your observations because this will quickly take you back to your thoughts.
Final Thoughts
Living in your head too much can cause you to not be present. And when you’re not present, you end up missing so much of the beauty in life — which can contribute to more unhappiness.
If you feel this is you, I hope this post has inspired you to get out of your head and into your body.
Just know it’s a slow process so don’t be hard on yourself if you still find yourself thinking too much. Getting out of my mind is still something I have to practice every day.
XO
Annie
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